You know when other people keep telling you: “Stop thinking about what others say, about what people think of you! Just think about yourself”? When they look at you with a strange face because they believe you care too much about everyone else around.
Well, I get that face many times from people, and, yes, I also get told to think more about myself and less about the others.
It’s just a thing that comes from inside, I guess. And it’s not always easy to control.
It’s your mind giving you signals. Maybe it’s the thought of doing something, someone else would not approve. Maybe it’s just the fear of hurting someone with your actions… Maybe it’s just our insecurity… Or maybe it’s just a mix of all those things.
I found myself many times wondering how the others would react if they only knew the real me. And yes, I do wear my heart on a sleeve, and most of the times with me, what you see is what you get. But there are also parts of me that I don’t want to share with many others.
It’s probably because people always see what they want to see.. They look from the outside and almost never want to go below the surface.. They almost never reach the point where they can really understand where you came from.. what or who made you act the way you did. They create this image of you in their heads, and they stick to it for the longest time. It sometimes seems like a lost battle, trying to make other understand who you really are. So most of the times I just give up.
It’s so hard to be really understood nowadays. To be able to speak your mind freely. Funny, isn’t it?
In a world with (too much) freedom of speech, we are afraid of showing our true selves…of speaking our minds.
But why do you think this happens?
Well, probably with all the social media channels we have, with the fact of being always connected, always under the spotlight, it is way easier for people to react to something you say or do. It became a sort of trend to point fingers and always give our opinion on everything, even when we should just shut up and reflect a bit more.
There’s always this desire to be “approved” by everyone. To not be “shamed” publicly.
So we end up creating a certain image that, we want to make believe, is who we actually are. When in reality, some of us are the complete opposite.
And maybe we’re afraid of that. Of people seeing us.. If people could roam around every secret corner of your minds, they could run away and never look back. Or maybe they wouldn’t.. Maybe they would recognise themselves somewhere in there. Maybe they would understand.
Sometimes we just don’t want to burden anyone with the crazy things going around our heads. And I guess that’s when people start worrying. When they start weighing every single action, every single word.
I do it too. All the time. But I always remind myself I’m only human.
I don’t have supernatural powers, and I take every day the best I can. Small doses and light steps. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be.
And to be honest, in a world full of superficiality, I do want to worry. Not about how I will be judged. Not about what the others will think of me, but about the impact I can have on the people that surround me. About not hurting anyone in the process of my messy little life.
But when it comes to all the other aspects.. to that fear of being accepted.. just remember that this is You. You are a little broken. But so is everyone else, and we will never be fixed. We all fight our inner battles, our inner monsters, and we have absolutely no idea of what happens behind someone else’s smile. Behind their eyes, and “I am fine”.
Maybe if we started accepting that, we would have more confidence in ourselves, and more understanding towards the others.
It’s hard to tell someone – believe in yourself, because you do not really know the reason for that person’s insecurity. Their struggles. You do not understand. You can only picture it. But that is not enough, is it?
We should start loving ourselves a bit more. We should try to fight that insecurity the best we can. And yes, we should worry a little, but not too much. It should never get to the point where your day to day life gets affected by it. Where it consumes you, and it makes you hide the real you.
Worry just enough to keep yourself motivated in the process of finding a better “You”. Don’t let it destroy you.
And if it helps, and you don’t feel like talking to anyone… just write it down.. Write it all down. All your fears, all your thoughts, all your struggles, all those emotions that are just waiting to get out, but you keep suppressing.
Fill in notebooks and notebooks of thoughts, and you’ll see that you’ll feel lighter.
You’ll start accepting the ideas that torment you. You’ll start accepting that part of you that you keep hiding away. You’ll heal a bit and you’ll move on (eventually at least).
And it will be you.. The real you.. On a piece of paper.
Ps: Never forget that we all have our battles to fight, and none of them are less important than others. So do not judge lightly. You may never understand what’s going on in another person’s soul.
Pps: There will always be people who will love you the way you are, who will appreciate your company and the moments shared with you. Don’t give too much importance to the people who, at the end of the day, will not stick around. They are not the ones that really matter.
And believe me…you will see who really counts…who really cares.